Answering Denise Levertov

by Mila D. Aguilar


Here, Denise, they don't
Chop off heads by the day
They just waylay you
On some lonely byway
Or highway
As the case may be
Whether you're alone
Or with
A convoy of journalists
Meant to protect your
Filing of candidacy.
One, two, fifty killed
Numbers don't matter
It's the principle that counts:
The principle of power
Over people
Of family
Over fold.
We know
No other life
We are the walking dead
Straddling the centuries
Without remorse
Shouting ourselves hoarse:
Producing nothing.



- November 24, 2009
9:30 - 9:59 pm

Bulwagang Rizal

Bulwagang Rizal
Originally uploaded by mila d aguilar

I HAVE

By Mila D. Aguilar

I have seen you.
Yours is the robe
Glowing white in the sunlight
That I tried to clutch
As you rose to heaven.
But you left me.

In the desert of my soul
You left me
To contend with myself
Till the day
I emerged from the battle
Yearning for you
And then you came
As I sat tired and forlorn
At the edge of my bed.

I could see the skirt
Of your white robe
As your hand touched
My head saying
You're doing fine, it's okay.
I have felt you.

I have heard you.
Not with a voice
But in a breath
Surpassing understanding
As I walked in a dream
Knowing others were
Walking with me.
And you said
In no uncertain terms
That this was how
It was going to be
In the march to Malacanang:
One fine day
We would all arise,
Fully aware,
And start treading
Separately
On your instructions.

I have smelled you
In myself, sweet with love
For your creation,
Exuding care and concern
For all of mankind
Without distinction.

I have tasted you
In my thirst. You
Are my living water.
You flowed into my palms
When first I received you
And confessed I
Was nothing without you.

You fill my mouth
My eyes
My ears
My nose
My skin.
Thereof
I know you. You

Are my God.



April 1, 2009
7:00 - 7:34 am

A Story Of Mothers

By Mila D. Aguilar


My son once had a dog
Not too long ago.
Her name was Helga.
She was a Labrador
Lovable and well-fed.
When she had children,
Still young and bouncy,
My son sold them, eight in all,
Keeping only one, whom he named
Sheik. Sheik it was, when
He'd grown bigger than she,
That she playfully ran away with
One day, the gate having been
Left open. Distraught, only
My prayers and his wife's
And daughter's guiding him,
My son looked far and wide for them,
Tacking wanted posters
With their pictures on walls
And trees, announcing a reward
For their return. We found
The two separately
The week after, Sheik
By a restaurant, haggard
And unkempt, Helga
In a house trembling,
Refusing to eat -- her rescuer,
A kind old woman, said.
By all accounts both
Had managed by their size
To escape from violent men
In passing jeeps.

But at a price.
Each got home days apart
Not only sobered, but
Interminably sad, as if
They had finally discovered
What kind of world they lived in.
Sheik recovered slightly
After some months, drawn
Closer to his mother
Than he had ever been,
But Helga was never the same
Again. After a year, she
Started to bleed. My son's wife
Took her to a vet twice,
Subjecting her to surgery
For the dog had cancer,
She was told. But
It couldn't be helped. Helga
Grew so thin, her big bones
Stuck out, only her belly bulging.
She could hardly move.
I would see Sheik circling round her
All day, his head hanging,
His shoulders draped
Like a sad cloak around him.
He would smell the blood
Trickling out of her the way
Angels prophesy the death of men.

And so one day
We had to bury her.
But we could not bury Sheik's
Anguish. His eyes lost
All gleam forever, his gait lost
Its youth. He started to walk
Like an old man though he was but
Four years old. Like me, up to now
He must still be dreaming
Nightly about his mother,
How they'd walk together in fun
Under the canopy of heaven,
Floating above the folly
Of the world and mortal men,
Wondering why, of all the dead
In one's life, whether it be long
Or short, mothers are missed most.



February 22, 2009
7:35 - 9:05 am

This poem was written expressly for the February 22 memorial to Mommy Adang de la Torre at the Bantayog ng mga Bayani on Quezon Avenue and dedicated especially to Ed and Girlie as well as all those who regarded Mommy de la Torre as their own mother.

Walang Pakundangan

Ni Mila D. Aguilar

A-dos na ng Enero
Nagpapaputok pa rin
Nang walang pakundangan
Mga bata sa lansangan.

Tulad ng kanilang
Matatanda sa Malacanang
Na isa-isang kinakarne
Lahat ng lumalaban.

Lumalabas na ang pulbura
Sa maliliit na butas
Sa gilid ng aking mga mata
Wala pa ring pakiramdam

Bata man o matanda
Sa kanilang kapwa.
Nakasusulasok ang amoy
Pambara sa hininga

Isip mo'y talagang balak nila
Ang makapatay
Ng kapitbahay.
Kung di nga lang ba, oo na,

Inosente itong sa isang banda
At sa kabila ay gahaman
Sa kaban ng bayan. Pero iho,
Sunud-sunuran lang ang kawalan

Sa gawi ng imbing kaharian.



a-2 by Enero, 2008
7-9 n.g.

Your Egypt Is No More

By Mila D. Aguilar

Here you are,
Bowing before the pyramid
When Egypt is no more.
How many decades
Will the genuflection last?
Egypt is now
A relic of the past.

And yet He said
To not God anything
But Him. Bud, what
Are you trying to save
Of Egypt then? The meme?
And where to take it?
On what wall to beam?

Your Egypt's nothing
But library now. Go,
Leave it. Let God move
With His own plan.
If it's another Pharoah,
So be it, fight on
With Heaven in your hand.


October 16-17, 2008

More stories from Iloilo re: Typhoon Frank

Mila Aujero writes again to my sister, this time with pictures taken by a neighbor of Inday Regalado, who is either her friend or relative. Click on the first picture to see three men trying to survive the flood. The second picture shows the aftermath on Inday Regalado's front yard. I have omitted some real names to protect persons who may feel judged. Calamity spares neither rich nor poor; or, for that matter, good nor bad.

--- On Thu, 7/10/08, mila aujero wrote:

Del,

Kon stories lang about baha survivors, haaay endless.
Everybody has a story to tell. Sharing with you some.......

*Remember our classmate Lydia Torre? She was alone
with her nieces at their one story house in Alta Tierra when acc. to her ,suddenly in a split second taga neck na ang flood.All girls sila, nag panic siya.She saw a hose, tied it to
a tree nagkabit kabit sila sa hose for several hours until they were rescued.

*Got a friend who is very rich, xxx, who owns
several gasoline stations and a rice magnate from Pavia.She is a widow surrounded by maids and helpers.
At first she said she was not affected because her walls were secure and strong.In a split second kuno, the walls
fell, the water reached the roof of her single story house,
everything gone. Tapos na baha, gina strain pa kuno niya ang lay-on and mud looking for her alahas worth millions.
all gone .All she can do is cry,esp. that her bodega full of rice wala mapuslan. In short, ginkuha gid ang tanan niya nga material things.Many says gina gaba an siya kay "usurer" man kuno.

* A well known figure in Iloilo City, xxx,owner of xxx, lost 8 cars in their
garage,aside from their destroyed house and things. Many were commenting.... sobra na ina ang 8 cars....kon sa pagkaon gluttony na.

* Carlos Gellekanao, a retired aprominent person also,had been on top of their roof overnight,was not
rescued, gin heart attack.

[NOTE FROM 'KATHY', sent Friday February 20, 2009 2:03 pm (see Comments 3 & 4 below): "He is my father and is very well. Wala gin heart attack as you have described. Yes, he was a victim of typhoon frank having climb to the roof for safety but he did not have a heart attack. Please correct your statement though it is almost a year."]

* Stories have been circulating that a maleta full of jewelries were lost in the flood.The owner kuno was
a Saudi national who was here to sell it to a jewelry store.
Buenas lang to ang nakakita.

* The son of Lope Doromal ,our classmate and president was walking in Balabago on the way to their farm when suddenly the flood taller than him overcame him,he swam
to an unfinished construction and stayed there overnight until he was rescued.

I have a cousin ,a midwife who newly retired from Germany and have just came home, she said she was just resting for the meantime and biding her time to go to the bank to deposit ang dala ya nga kwarta, all in US dollars,
her retirement money. she won't tell the amount basta several thousands gid kuno, all gone, including her passports and everything.Nag overnight pa siya sa top of the roof, wasak ang aparador where she kept her valuables,
her house, the walls and gates.Baw daw buang siya subong

Daw "bombo reporter" na ako, ano? ha ha.

Just see for yourself sa
you tube,typhoon frank iloilo city
search web bala sa internet.

Love,
MIL